WHEN ADULTS STOP GROWING

I was in the park that day, reading a book while enjoying the British summer weather. A short distance away some people were playing with their children on the grass, and some seniors were walking their dogs on the pathways. It was kind of a normal day. All of a sudden, Mithu appeared from behind me and landed on the bench next to me. Mithu is a beautiful Indian Ringneck Parakeet, a very intelligent parrot, and a proficient speaker. Mithu is an old friend with whom I became acquainted while his broken wing was healing in our house.

Below is the transcript of the chat that took place in the park between us both.

Me: Hello! This is a nice surprise. How are you?
Mithu: Hello! I am fine. I just came out for a bit of fresh air. I am drowning in love.

Me: In love? You are in love?
Mithu: No! The family I am living with loves me so much. I am being pampered like royalty.

Me: Wow! That is great. Good to know that you are happy.
Mithu: Who says I am happy? I am living with a family that is constantly in regression.

Me: Why in regression? How?
Mithu: The parents are so busy trying to give everything to their children except what the children are most deprived of; creating profound cognitive dissonance.

Me: I did not understand whose parents? Please explain.
Mithu: In the absence of parental involvement in children’s emotional and intellectual upbringing, the children are bound to spend much of their energy searching for that stimulus elsewhere. This is leading them into trouble at school and rebellious behaviour in all spheres of life.

Me: You are confusing me more now.
Mithu: You are such a birdbrain. I am living with a family of four, where both parents are working fulltime; therefore they have less time to spend with the children. The eldest child is a teenager, while the youngest is five years old.

Me: OK.
Mithu: My observation is that the teenager is regularly throwing tantrums. While the parents may feel they are fulfilling all their basic duties towards their children, the teenager, however, feels he is not getting enough quality time with his parents.

Me: Oh I see.
Mithu: The result is the teenager’s fixation on unrequited love is overarching all his other potentials and blocking his ability to explore and reinforce his creativeness. It is this huge unexplored creativeness inside him that is pushing him to become an attention seeker. The reality is that these tantrums are nothing more than a cry for help.

Me: hmm, very interesting observations. So, you think there is a communication gap between the parents and the children?
Mithu: Yes, the parents know only a glimpse of their children’s lives. Unconditional love is just as important for the child as the food they eat. All children have a great thirst for the unconditional love from their parents. Certainly, it is this unconditional love coupled with guidance that encourages the children to persevere and bring out what is best inside them. What matters the most here is the quality time which is needed to harness, refocus and channel the raw energy residing within the child.

Me: Yes I very much agree. But how did the family end up in this situation? What went wrong?
Mithu: This is a common problem, when the adults stop growing and choose to close their minds. I have observed such paralysis many times when people gradually become prone to the dogmatic thought process. Then their each new day is same as their previous day. They live routine or repetitive lives. Such people resist change and prefer to stay in their comfort zones.

For example, nowadays adults and children spend much of their time on social media or watching television dramas instead of reading books or socialising with their families. Such people are also content with eating junk, reading junk and feeling unsatisfied internally. This has an adverse effect on all aspect of their lives as well as on the wider society.

Me: Yes, you are right, reading books and learning new knowledge is important for the personal growth and personal development as well as for a healthy lifestyle and Restoring The Mind.

At this point, Mithu decided to fly off, leaving me wondering about his observations of our so-called modern society.

By Khalid

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