As interactive, social beings we demonstrate a clear inclination towards comfort zones and can exhibit mental and physical distress when we are exposed outside of them. Thus, we aim to avoid gazing at the fragilities of life. I never realised how fragile life is until I was diagnosed with a muscle wasting disease; Spinal Muscular Atrophy. For years I lived a lifeless life. A long time after the diagnosis I realised that life breaks you, it breaks everyone. Some of us are tested mentally while others suffer physically, some both! we are all tested in one way or another. With each experience, we become stronger. What really matters is how resilient we are and how quick we can bounce back. Eventually, my new reality forced me out of my comfort zones.
We wish we were immune to suffering and that we did not regularly face situations where we are forced out of our comfort zones. We are social beings. And one of the hazards of living in a society is that, at times, people close to us unleash their frustrations without realising the consequences of their words, leaving us emotionally wounded. While in anger, we question our values, beliefs and basis of relationships. Some of us suffer in silence and do not utter undesirable words; instead, releasing words through tears. We suffer emotionally and physically, feeling unable to forgive and forget. We embrace pain. The problem starts when, in extreme cases, the human mind begins to enjoy the pain. Hence, like addicts, we repeatedly rerun the mental recording of the incident as if we are taking pleasure from it.
Living with the past pains and dwelling in such comfort zones can be bad for our health. Pleasure comes in the form of resisting the temptation to move forward; we fail to see a bright future because the past is obscuring our vision. Just imagine someone driving while their windscreen and rear-view mirror are swapped; thus the back view is displayed on the windscreen while you can only look ahead through an area the size of the rear-view mirror. It is the same when we are holding on to the past pains; we struggle to move forward effectively and embrace the future. We do not need to give space to the past more than it deserves. The size should be proportional.
The more intense the pain and suffering is, the more we feel unable to receive and give love. We cannot love if we cannot forgive. In other words, we must choose to change and all change starts in the mind. All it takes to make the change is a decision (and we are not talking about wishful thinking here) and willpower. The doubts we encounter are the result of fear, the fear of the unknown. When we make the decision to make positive changes, all the powers in the universe conspire to help us. Just believe that all the goodness in the universe wants us to put aside the negativity and become who we are born to be.
When we are gloomy we forget that despite being fragile we are equipped with powerful tools, such as resilience and creativity. We can choose to suffer or we can forgive and move forward. The human mind is potentially very powerful; we need to emancipate its powers to restore the mind. We emancipate the mind by letting go of the past.
- Do not let negative people affect you.
- Be resilient.
- Forgive others and yourself to be free of pain.
- Accept that you cannot make everyone happy all the time.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
- Be grateful for what you have.